s09612057 发表于 2011-1-18 14:44   全显示 1楼
非常精采，把一個剛新婚的少婦渴望性愛的過程描寫的很精采!建議在寫時要注意一下細節部份，有些地方是想像，有些地方是角色不同的描述，可以用一下記號做區隔，如分隔線，這樣會更方便閱讀!另外在描寫的部分無論是性愛或是角色的心理，都可以做更細節的描述，這樣會使文章內容更加豐富，讀起來會更棒更引人入勝!
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  • wxf-86 金币 +6 认真回复 2011-1-19 23:23
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